I tell interested people immediately.
And discuss with every partner what safer sex practices you want to use. I no longer feel this way. A sexually responsible, socially cognizant adult should do that self-education on their own time, particularly if they are part of a community that is at high-risk for HIV men who have sex with men, particularly men of color, and transgender women. But do they get to have sex with me? This weeds out poz-phobic or simply poz-ignorant people faster.
The people who pass this test and embrace my status have ended up being better fuck buds, better hookups, and better relationships than any I had before. Compare that number to people who have been recently diagnosed and are not yet taking medication — their tests can show millions of copies of HIV in one millimeter of blood.
When you are undetectable, the virus is unable to trigger antibody tests, which are the tests used to tell if someone has HIV. This is the healthiest you can be without being HIV negative.
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When you are undetectable, you are unable to transmit the virus. Let me say that again: You can stay undetectable as long as you keep taking your daily medication. No, there is no cure for HIV, at least not right now. Of course.
As long as they are aware of your HIV status and unafraid of it, you can date anyone you want to date — assuming they want to date you, too. I know countless long-term, happy serodiscordant couples. Today, there are more and better ways to treat and prevent HIV than there were even twenty years ago, so serosorting is rapidly becoming a thing of the past.
If your doctor diagnosed you with AIDS, you may have seen some changes in your body already.
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Thankfully, we have medications that reduce the level of HIV in your blood to the point that you can live an extremely healthy life undetectability. Some of the most attractive people in your neighborhood may have HIV. Some of the hottest people at your local gay bar have HIV. Many celebrities and models and other public figures very likely have HIV, and are choosing not to be public about their status. Get the best of what's queer.
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